There’s an Animated Gif for That

Today we dissect the animated gif. Those loathsome, pointless, wiggling little attention whores that belong on no website designed post ‘96. Still, those buggers are everywhere.

This collection by no means represents the worst out there—but as free animated gifs abound on the internet, this choice bunch was fairly easy and extremely quickly gathered for our analytical purposes.

Let’s take a tour…

1. The Ally McBeal dancing baby, as creepy as he ever was, performing three actions in one gif: 1) The soccer ball slap 2) the air guitar two-step 3) The funky pigeon
   
   
   
   
2. Chinese dragon thingie giving repeated roars. Looks like someone went wild on its mouth and ears with the Photoshop Smudge Tool. The neon flashing eyes are just the icing on the cake.
   
   
   
   
3. Everyone loves a good chimp gag. And talk about web versatility! A million different captions/advertising slogans would work with this little feller from “I paid too much for auto insurance” to “I knew I should have tried all-natural penis enhancement.”
   
   
   
   
4. Nothing says Welcome to 1995 quite like the site Under Construction gif! Loads out there to choose from. Take your pick.
   
   
   
   
5. Through the magic of multiple frames, an idiomatic expression is brought to life. Though, this pig doesn’t actually seem to be taking off really, as his rear hooves never appear to leave the ground. The yellow aura’s a bit sloppy as well.
   
   
   
6. Two ultra-weird, new age/occult hands with a shitload of significance to someone out there--I'm sure of it. These aren’t quite as versatile as our friend Mr. Chimp, but a whole lot more intriguing!
   
   
   
   
7. The dancing crucifix. My personal favorite.
   
   
   
   
   
8. There are actually a number of amusing gifs to be found under the “Religion” category, so since we’re on the subject, here’s another one—the Peace Christ. Let’s forget about the fact that it's a silly image of Christ making the peace sign and talk instead about lazy animation. I mean, this one really isn’t animated, is it? It’s just an image being moved from the corner of the frame into the center of it, gradually displaying the complete picture. Dopey.
   
   
   
   
9. Weird sewer creature thing-a-majig tosses up a purple ball containing a friendly salutation. Bizarre.
   
   
   
10. Brontosaurus regurgitates a never-ending supply of letters into a mailbox. How this functions as a graphic representation of “send an email” is beyond me.
    
    
    
    
    
11. Finally, this orca clearly illustrates one of my biggest beefs with animated gifs in general. Sheer laziness. He idly bobs through a slit in the water because he can’t be arsed to actually make a leap. Also, the reflection on the glassy surface remains motionless while the killer whale moves up and down! Seriously, animated gif creators, we notice. We notice.