Gutted

For this post, I really don't need to do more than show you images of these fanfreakingtastic and über innovative "Book Autopsies" (or book sculptures) created by artist Brian Dettmer, and supply a link to show you more of his work.

Armed with some sort of cutting instrument, he guts out books to reveal the works of art hidden within.

Providing you have a heartbeat and a functional radar for the aesthetically pleasing, you too should be equally wowed.

Thanks, Davina, for the tip.

Lunch a la Lynch

It doesn’t take a whole lot to pique my interest when in comes to trying out new food, so when Dane played me a featurette off the Inland Empire DVD of David Lynch cooking up his own recipe for quinoa—I was all over it. The feature was less about the food than it was about showcasing Lynch’s preoccupation with an orderly process as well as his childlike fascination with such elementary principals as grains puffing up twice their size after boiling. While the pot was simmering, he took the moment to tell some wildly colorful tales regarding a European train ride, some street vendors peddling sugar water, his magical acquisition of two handfuls of silver coins and providing a woman with her first taste of Coca Cola. It was a fascinating little piece, black & white with a menacing score—and when it was over, I was dying to try out the dish I’d just seen Lynch devour with relish.

Some research was necessary, as I hadn’t the slightest clue what quinoa was, save Lynch’s vague explanation that it was some sort of grain that was considered to be a whole protein—and that it was delicious.

It turns out quinoa (Lynch pronounces it keen-wah) is a South American staple food grown in the Andes and it does contain a high amount of protein unlike wheat and rice—which makes it a better alternative for those pursuing a low carb diet. Lynch’s recipe also includes something he calls “Liquid amino acids.” I found out that this is a seasoning more commonly referred to as “liquid aminos,” and bears a similarity to soy sauce. So after a quick visit to Nature Mart (the neighborhood bohemian organic/health food market) my ingredients were assembled and ready to go.

Lynch was right. Quinoa is pretty damn good—a nutty flavored grain with a texture that’s a cross between cous cous and caviar. I think I’ve finally found the perfect rice substitute.

If you’d like to try the recipe yourself, you can find it here.

I’ve also just finished reading Cormac McCarthy’s The Crossing which, despite filling me with an immeasurable sense of bleak despair while contemplating the illusory lessons of history as well as humanity's inability to hear the voice of the divine (if there even exists a divine voice to hear) for our own vain and inconsequential desires—it’s also given me an itch to make some homemade tortillas.

Captain Planet Sorts Out the Troubles -or- Can't We All Just Get Along?

Dane, on the lookout for some YouTube action pertaining to his hometown, typed "Belfast" into the search box. Among other gems, he found this--an edited bit from a bizarre episode of Captain Planet that certainly deserves to be showcased somewhere.

In this episode, the Catholics and Protestants have somehow obtained WMDs and CP steps in to save the day (in an America--fuck yeah! sort of way). Man alive. There are no words to express how simplistic, uninformed and dopey this treatment of the Troubles is. You'll just have to watch for yourself.

There’s an Animated Gif for That

Today we dissect the animated gif. Those loathsome, pointless, wiggling little attention whores that belong on no website designed post ‘96. Still, those buggers are everywhere.

This collection by no means represents the worst out there—but as free animated gifs abound on the internet, this choice bunch was fairly easy and extremely quickly gathered for our analytical purposes.

Let’s take a tour…

1. The Ally McBeal dancing baby, as creepy as he ever was, performing three actions in one gif: 1) The soccer ball slap 2) the air guitar two-step 3) The funky pigeon
   
   
   
   
2. Chinese dragon thingie giving repeated roars. Looks like someone went wild on its mouth and ears with the Photoshop Smudge Tool. The neon flashing eyes are just the icing on the cake.
   
   
   
   
3. Everyone loves a good chimp gag. And talk about web versatility! A million different captions/advertising slogans would work with this little feller from “I paid too much for auto insurance” to “I knew I should have tried all-natural penis enhancement.”
   
   
   
   
4. Nothing says Welcome to 1995 quite like the site Under Construction gif! Loads out there to choose from. Take your pick.
   
   
   
   
5. Through the magic of multiple frames, an idiomatic expression is brought to life. Though, this pig doesn’t actually seem to be taking off really, as his rear hooves never appear to leave the ground. The yellow aura’s a bit sloppy as well.
   
   
   
6. Two ultra-weird, new age/occult hands with a shitload of significance to someone out there--I'm sure of it. These aren’t quite as versatile as our friend Mr. Chimp, but a whole lot more intriguing!
   
   
   
   
7. The dancing crucifix. My personal favorite.
   
   
   
   
   
8. There are actually a number of amusing gifs to be found under the “Religion” category, so since we’re on the subject, here’s another one—the Peace Christ. Let’s forget about the fact that it's a silly image of Christ making the peace sign and talk instead about lazy animation. I mean, this one really isn’t animated, is it? It’s just an image being moved from the corner of the frame into the center of it, gradually displaying the complete picture. Dopey.
   
   
   
   
9. Weird sewer creature thing-a-majig tosses up a purple ball containing a friendly salutation. Bizarre.
   
   
   
10. Brontosaurus regurgitates a never-ending supply of letters into a mailbox. How this functions as a graphic representation of “send an email” is beyond me.
    
    
    
    
    
11. Finally, this orca clearly illustrates one of my biggest beefs with animated gifs in general. Sheer laziness. He idly bobs through a slit in the water because he can’t be arsed to actually make a leap. Also, the reflection on the glassy surface remains motionless while the killer whale moves up and down! Seriously, animated gif creators, we notice. We notice.
    
    
    
    
    

Flock Together

When I joined the ACLU a while back and wondered if there were any activist meetings in my immediate locale, they directed me toward a little site called Meetup.com. Through said site, one can start (or join) a group based on a common interest, and attend local meetups with like-minded folks.

For example, if you happen to be a die-hard fan of Norwegian pop sensation a-ha but find yourself obsessing alone, simply type “a-ha” into the Meetup.com search and you’re likely to stumble across the "a-ha fans Southern CA Meetup Group" (14 members strong). Same with 17th Century Spanish Drama or Traditional Amish recipes or…well, anything at all, really.

Every week, I’m tickled to receive an email informing me of the various Meetups taking place near me—i.e. the “Studio City Stitch & Bitch” and the “Universal Order and Biojoy Fellowship.”

This morning, it occurred to me that I find this weekly list strangely comforting, as it drives home the fact that no matter how odd our interests/guilty pleasures—we are not alone.

Other groups in the LA area include:

• Druid Meetup
• Orlando Bloom Meetup
• Southern California DEPECHE MODE Devotional Group (159 members)
• The Apollonian Poets (20 members)
• KEEROOV Kosher Eth-E-co-logical Raw Organic Optimistic Vegan (29 members)
• UFO Meetup
• Order of The Perfectly Manicured Papaya - SoCal Chapter (52 members)
• Los Angeles Vampires (199 members)
• Metal Detecting Meetup
• The Be Totally Free Meetup Group (23 members)
• Dude Check This Out! Meetup
• Godzilla Meetup
• BARF Diet Meetup
• Hula Hooping Meetup
• Wonder Woman Meetup

Travel Journal Part 5: Random Musings on My Week

From this outsider's perspective, London is a fascinating mixture of the staid and traditional with the contemporary and cutting-edge. Probably a reaction of the younger generation toward the stodgy repression of their elders (and the ghosts that they continue to revere). I suppose if one grew up surrounded by so much pomp antiquity, one would find it blasé, and turn instead to modern minimalism and pop culture worship.

The effect of which is an intriguing place packed to the hilt with bodiless souls and soulless bodies. But, I guess you can probably say the same about all cities where the old world exists in such close proximity with the new.

* * *

What I found particularly interesting are the C.C.T.V. signs everywhere, essentially warning troublemakers not to get out of hand because Big Brother is watching! True to the Orwellian vision, an enormous portion of public and private areas in the UK are now surveilled by close circuit television—not only streets, shops and private properties such as hotels, but also inside taxicabs, trams, etc. Here are a couple of C.C.T.V. signs I took—one inside a taxi and another on a garbage truck. Signs like these can be found on buildings, vehicles and street posts all over the place.

* * *

In the news: Yob violence is on the rise, resulting in a number of senseless killings around the UK. (Yob being slang for a young aggressive person—“boy” spelled backwards.) Parents are advised on how to nip youth violence in the bud.

Dane maintains that one of the things that drove him out of the UK was this very problem.

* * *

UK grocery store chocolates are far better than their American counterparts. Hands down.

Travel Journal Part 4: Hello Dalí!

Two more museum visits to report.

The British Museum has a wonderful collection of Egyptian & Mesopotamian artifacts that I thoroughly lapped up. Show me some clay pots, beaded jewelry, stone chisels, human and animal remains within glass cases, and I’m happy.

I also perused their great collection of prints and drawings that spanned from the 15th century to present day. Represented there are Albrecht Durer, William Blake, Henry Moore (the list of notables goes on and on). Think you’ll get a kick (as I did) out of Grayson Perry’s humorously self-deprecating “Map of An Englishman”—which you can check out in detail here.

Unfortunately , I didn’t make it to any of their other amazing collections of ancient Greek and Asian art.

Dane joined me on Friday on an excursion to the Tate Modern where, extremely lucky for us, we were able to catch the special exhibit entitled Dalí & Film. Oh gods of great timing, thou art kindly indeed! My humble eyes were able to viddy such amazing works as “The Persistence of Memory,” “The Metamorphosis of Narcissus” and “Sleep” (among many others!); see various paintings and drawings that were studies of film projects both completed and not completed; as well as watch the complete Luis Bunuel-Salvador Dalí joint Un chien andalou and the infamous and absolutely fantastic Dalí/Walt Disney film Destino. Infamous because the film hadn't been finished during their lifetimes for the imagery was too controversial for Disney to be associated with. It was finally completed in 2003, with modern day animators attempting to stay true to Dalí and Disney’s original vision for the film.

Unfortunately, Dalí's project with the Marx Brothers (he was a great admirer of physical comedians such as Harold Lloyd and the Marx bros) never came to fruition. One can only imagine the wild surrealist romp that would have been!

Easily, the Tate Modern proved to be my favorite experience of the entire trip.